I was officially diagnosed with NCS in December 200l, at age 16, but I had actually had it for 13 years. Since December, I have felt as if I have had continuous flu or mono. I've had to give up my previous life of dancing (my first love!), and going to school.

My symptoms are: severe unremitting fatigue, nausea, shakiness, lightheadedness, dizziness, neurocognitive loss (difficulty thinking), difficulty in regulating body temperature (feeling extremely hot or extremely cold), gastrointestinal problems and occasional passing out without warning.

     I first passed out at age 3. I woke up in a few seconds, but my mom knew something was very wrong. Thus began our 13-year journey from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what was wrong with me. At 4 years old, my preschool teacher observed me having what she thought was a petit mal seizure. I stood up, pushed my chair back, apparently stared straight ahead, couldn't respond to my teacher, and crushed my project in my fists. I remember nothing until I was recovering in my teacher's arms. Seizure tests done at the hospital came out negative. Doctors said that all of my headaches, tummy aches, and fainting episodes were "attention getting behaviors." When I was 6 years old, a mom who was also a doctor observed me fainting at my Tai Kwon Do class. She told my mom that it definitely looked like a petit mal seizure. Our doctor began to take our concerns a little more seriously after hearing that another doctor had actually seen it.

     We started thinking that this might be hypoglycemia, because of the clamminess, shakiness, and nausea involved. We had to fight to get a glucose tolerance test done because I was so young. The glucose test came out borderline (my blood sugar dropped to 60), but the endocrinologist said that if my blood sugar dropped fast enough, it was possible that it could cause me to pass out. So, from age 6-16 we thought that I had hypoglycemia. I followed all of the hypoglycemia rules the whole time: no sugar diet, small protein snacks, and glucose tablets when I passed out.

     I continued to pass out once or twice a year until I was 14. Then, I had a two-year break until my sophomore year in high school (16 years old), when I passed out in school. This time, I slept for 4 days afterwards, and never felt well again. One of our close friends, Dr. Annette Collier, was urging us to make an appointment with Dr. Blair Grubb, a cardiologist and an expert on all types of fainting. We did make an appointment, but we couldn't get in for many months.

     Passing out was not something I wanted to be doing while driving; so, my doctor ordered a retest of hypoglycemia and also ordered a tilt table test. The hypoglycemia test came back normal, but my heart stopped during the TT test (I was given a new nickname: 'flatliner'). I had officially entered the wild and crazy world of 'neurocardiogenic syncope.' I passed out again in February 2002, and was missing tons of school and all of my dance conventions due to extreme fatigue and nausea. My own doctor was telling me that there was no reason for me to be so tired and the next time I felt tired I should run 20 minutes on the treadmill. He basically told me I had an attitude problem. He said if I sat around too much I'd "end up with all kinds of problems like chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromialgia." He obviously didn't believe in those illnesses and didn't know too much about NCS either.

     When I finally got in to see Dr. Grubb, he sat down with me and explained everything to me. He knew exactly what I was going through and explained the reasons why all of this was happening. Just knowing that this was all part of NCS, and that there were medical reasons for my feeling so sick and tired was such a relief. He told me that compared to many of his patients, my case was mild. Some of his patients are bedridden or wheelchair bound, and cannot even stand up.

     I attempted to limp through the rest of my sophomore year, juggling school, nightly musical practice, dance, and homework (I did maintain a 4.2 gpa). I danced in the musical, albeit dizzily, and even danced in Times Square (NYC) right under the street sign for Broadway. I had achieved one of my life goals: to dance on Broadway!!! Then, a virus put me totally out of commission (I couldn't stand up and even lying down didn't relieve my dizziness and nausea), my condition worsened, and it was no longer possible for me to pretend to be well anymore. I had to quit dance (my worst nightmare). Soon, it also became apparent that I would have to quit going to school too. Today, I rest at home, doing school work when I can, and counting my blessings: I have the luxury to sleep and lie down whenever I need to (a lot), I have friends and family who understand my condition, I have a great tutor who helps me keep up with school, and I have a strong faith in God. I live one day at a time now, and have a much greater appreciation for all of the blessings God has granted me.

     I am also thankful that I live close to Dr. Grubb's office. People from all over the world come to consult with this man. Dr. Grubb has been a Godsend! It's hard to believe that I have been fainting right here since I was 3 years old, and it took me 13 years to find this wonderful expert on fainting right down the street. I am also extremely grateful to our family friend, Dr. Collier, for directing me to Dr. Grubb.

     I have had to hang up my dancing shoes, but my soul will always be dancing!